The Columbus Bachelor

Well I have met a bunch of new girls that really like me and really want to get together with me. Big surprise they are all young and immature sigh. I still don't make much money and I still don't got much muscles going on even though I have been working hard at the gym sigh. I know I need to be patient and let some time elapse but geez I am really impatient and I just wish I had bigger muscles now and I wish I was older and made more money so I could get these classy girls I look at all the time to be interested in me. You know what is really lame... I went the other day to the mall and was just walking around looking for classy women and I found a bunch and I was like man these are the kinds of women I want to like me. I thought that perhaps somehow studying them like an animal watches prey that I might be able to learn something but no dice.

So yeah I have been working a lot so that I have some money saved up to spend on dates and stuff and I have been getting messages from some various girls but like I said they are all so damn young. One girl is a sorority girl and she invited me to a kegger this weekend and I am like I guess so. I thought that stuff was behind me but I guess I am only 22 so it's not like I am some 25 year old guy like from that movie old school where I will look out place. In fact I'm sure there will be some people my age there so I dunno why I am tripping. I guess I am just mad because going to a kegger with a bunch of party animals is not really how I want to be spending my time but I guess I am going to have to settle for this type of thing for a few years still since I am so young. Yawn I need something to change here...

I am totally looking and feeling better already even after only doing this workout for a couple of weeks now. I feel so much better and I have basically stopped playing World of Warcraft and my online friends are like wtf but I don't care because I would rather be in some strange girl's bed then be sitting in front of my computer at 2am on a raid with a bunch of other guys in the same situation. I mean get real, the reason I played WoW was because I didn't have a life and I wasn't getting any girls. I did that as an alternative to the thing which I now know is lightyears better and more fun and makes me happier.

Now that I have been getting with girls I feel myself changing and getting more mature. I realize that I need to shed a lot of my immature ways if I want to be able to have sex with the kind of women I like. I don't know why but I am drawn to really attractive classy looking women in business suits and of course that is the total opposite of me. I think it had something to do with my childhood but that is not a topic I want to get into here at this time. So moving on, yeah I forgot how nice it is to feel the skin of a woman and kiss a woman etc. But these kinds of girls I like are not attracted to guys like me so in the interim I will have to settle for what I can get. Which is usually and immature girl and that is fine, as long as she is feminine and not butchy, I hate butchy aggressive women.

When I was a kid my dad had a hat collection and I always thought it was dumb. My friends used to come over and play in my basement and they would always see these hats and be like wtf is this shit and I would be like wtf do I know, my dad collects them. Ever since my dad passed away last July, I have been randomly thinking of things that he used to do and how at the time I thought they were corny and I was embarassed to be associated with him, were actually kind of cool and those were the things that shaped him which ultimately had some impact on shaping me. Yeah pretty profound shit I know.

OMG I hate my job sooooo much but it is the only job I can find right now and there is no way I can even think about trying to bang girls unless I have some money in my pocket. I am hoping to graduate out of the dishwasher position and into salad bar which would be so much better because that job is normal and not totally disgusting. The people that I work with are really starting to piss me off. I really hate everything about it and I can't even think of one good thing to say about it and I am not exaggerating for real yo.

I have started to get really bored of playing world of warcraft. I just feel like we are always doing the same things, having the same arguments and I realized just how much damn time I waste playing that stupid game. Yeah that's right I called world of warcraft stupid! Hate on me if you want, but you all know it is true and you are just wasting away your life when you could be doing something important. I started to think a lot about the world of warcraft episode of south park and it made me realize that I don't want to turn into one of those fat bastards they depict in the show. I decided I am going to start working out and get into shape because I heard that girls like guys with muscles but what do I know. I don't have any money to join a gym or anything of course so instead I am just working out inside my house.

I am doing pushups and situps and I am lifting heavy objects I can find around the house for weights. I googled a bunch of sites that show you all the exercises you can do by yourself without any real equipment at all. They show you how to do stuff with the common household items in your place which is what I am doing. My parents are giving me an odd look when I do this stuff but at the same time they have already commented on how they are just glad I am off my ass playing that damn game as they say it. My parents are pretty cool but they are both hypocrites and neither of them really spend much time exercising themselves. They are both overweight but hey I am living off of them for free so I can't really say anything... yet.

I haven't been spending much time online talking to girls. I let the girls I was talking to kind of stagnate. I should have been chatting them up more often but I have been so tired lately with work and everything and I was figuring even if I did get somewhere with a girl, I don't have any money saved up yet to take them out. I told my parents that I was working to save up money to spend on dates and they had quite a chuckle when they heard this but they were probably thinking, "well at least he won't be spending it on dope" which is half right

Hi lol I'm back. I finally got a job. It is a shitty ass job and what sucks even harder is that I went to like 6 different places for jobs that all sucked and I got the suckiest of all 6 cuz I suck that hard I guess. I got a job as a dishwasher in a mediocre family restaurant. Where I work is called the dish pit. It is this huge like 12 foot by 12 foot tiles section surrounded by stainless steel shelves, and plastic buns, and a sink. It is up against the wall and the whole wall section is where the dishwasher is. It takes up the whole wall. All the waitresses come in and just dump the shit from people's tables into this plastic bins. I am talking about everything, as it was on the table gets dumped in there... half eaten or spit up food, half empty cups of coffee, you name it, it's there. It is my job to scrape the shit off the plates and then spray off the plate and then put the plate into this plastic tray thingy that goes through the actual dishwasher like it was on a conveyor belt. Once they get through the other end then they sit there in there plastic bin thing for a few minutes to air dry, then I have to remove them and stack all the crap on these other shelves. I mentioned there was a sink right? Well once an hour, the cooks will yell scrub and that means I have to go over and collect this stainless steel bin full of used greasy skillets. They are like these oval shaped cast iron plates that they use to saute shit instead of using the same frying pan over and over. Of course there is also like 15 pairs of metal tongs in there too. So I have to go grab these bin and bring it back to the pit and then fill one basin with boiling hot water and soap and then submerge them in there. Then I have to go back to them like 15 mins later and scrub them and rinse them and then stack them and then bring them back to the cooks. The whole time this is going on, the waitresses are basically dumping massive trays endlessly into the bins. So the pace you have to operate in order to not get backed up is ridiculous. Of course its not too bad during non peak times but my shift is from 4-midnight so it gets busy from 5:30-9pm. The worst part is the spray gun and the food. There is like a hose that comes from above your head and on the end is this heavy duty spray nozzle with a long trigger. When you grab this thing and spray the plate of shitty food etc the water and food sprays everywhere. The bits of food collect in this nasty collector you constantly have to empty into a garbage can. Yeah there is 3 garbage cans with massive black bags in them too. I have to change the bags once and hour and then take them out to the dumpster behind the building. So because you have to move fast, you sweat, because there is hot steam everywhere, you sweat, because the sprayer sprays mists of food everywhere, you are covered in wet sloppy greasy sludge on top of all of this. It is definitely the worst job I have ever had. I just put on my iPod and zone out to the music and pretend I am somewhere else. I think having the sound of splashing water and the clanking of the pots and pans completely drowned out helps to make the time go by faster and make things seem less gross. Some of the waitresses are in their twenties and are hot bust most of them are old and nasty. The only good thing about working there is the free food that we get. We get a free entree of anything we want from the menu on each shift

While I am working, I think of creative things I can on dates to impress girls etc. So far I haven't come up with much because I am working with such a limited budget. I think I need to approach things differently and instead of taking girls on traditional dates that are expensive, do something like take them swimming or take them to the beach and just bring something cheap with me to eat and drink. Of course it's December and it's freezing as hell here in Ohio so you see where I am coming from. Maybe some of you could leave some comments and give me some ideas. I don't have a lot of experience with these things ya know.

No progress with the African girl and Shelly never ended up coming over after all because she said she had a sore throat and then she found out she had strep throat and that sucked. So we have been talking a lot on the phone instead. She told me that she had to get 3 injections of penicillin 1 per day for 3 days and that it hurt and she had to take it in the butt. Ok that sounded funny, what I meant was that she had to get the injection in her butt instead of in the arm cuz that is how you got to take those shots. I was watching MTV today and there was this awesome new hardcore punk band called "Clowns with Pots" and their shit was off the hook yo! Some of the most clever music I have head in a while. There is a spikey haired tall guy on drums, another white guy on guitar, and an asian girl on vocals. They kick butt and they roll around in this pimped out CJ Jeep in the video. They ride around and do stuff... it's great. The song I heard was called "Don't call me buddy" and it was slammin yo. Anyways back to the girlz yo. What is up with the girls that are my age.... they are so flaky, ok well I guess guys my age are flaky too but c'mon yo. what gives? I dunno about Shelly, she seems to good to be true. I dunno how long it will last with a girl that is so similar to me. I guess I have to wait until I meet her in person and see if there is any chemistry there.

I met a few older women this week online. There is lots of older women online who wanna hook up with younger guys. I was quite surprised by this fact but then again I see the way my mom's friends look at me like they wanna eat me like a tossed fucking salad... oh! That was an Andrew Dice Clay reference in case you missed it bizznatches. Anyhoo wtf is up with this weather yo? This shit is bananas!

All these older broads think they are all smart and shit just cuz they got jobs and live in houses... pfft. I would pown them in WoW. Girls suck at video games because they have vaginas. Men are used to handling joysticks... it comes naturally... ok that sounded gay. I feel I might be getting slightly offtopic.

One girl I met is named Cheryl and she works at a department store in the fragrance department. It's like dude? wtf? You mean one of those prim and proper womanly woman looking women with the tight slacks on and all the makeup! Yes dog! One of those girls. They look like a big doll. And she is tall too... tall women are hot. You know what else I think is hot? Female singers... like Esthero, Dolores O'Riordon from the Cranberries, Alicia Keys. I wish I could meet a girl who was a lounge singer. I think that shit is hot as a reindeer's antlers.

I also met a broad named Julia who is a homemaker? LOL........ I had to lie to that chick cuz well I live with my parents so yeah, can't exactly be honest with her unless she just wants to get banged... I have no idea with these older women they are an enigma. Anyways she has 2 kids which is kinda weird but I would still throw it in her based on her picture. Shit she could give me a blowjob then make me a sandwich and all in the world would be ok.

I've been drinking some red wine tonight and smoking some ganj so bear with me k thanks. Who else did I meet? Well I met this girl named Sonja who is from the middle east or something. I told myself last week that I wanted to bang some exotic pussy and she is my target. I'm bored... I gtg

I have still been chatting with that African girl Aaliyah but so far the progress is slow. She isn't ready to meet me yet, she is very cautious about the whole online dating thing and she has never met someone in real life yet that she has met on the internet. Hopefully I will be her first

I met this girl named Shelly who knows about World of Warcraft and said she had played it at some friend's place a few times and thought it was kind of cool. Not only have we chatted online and on msn but yesterday I called her on the phone and we chatted for an hour or so. She has a really sexy soft voice and it was fun to talk to her. She is only 22 and she lives with her parents also while she goes to school so I like phew I can tell her that I live with my parents too without her thinking I am a loser cuz she lives with hers too.

We have been chatting about movies and I told her my favorite movies are Quienten Tarantino movies and my favorite specifically was Pulp Fiction. Man I just love that movie so much. Say What Again! Anyways, she is really fun to talk to and I told her we should get together and watch Inglorious Basterds at my place. She said she would come over on Thursday after school and we could watch it then. I have yet to bring a chick over to my house yet so I hope my parents are cool and don't act all gay and shit and embarrass me cuz that would not be cool at all. I am going to try and make some quesadillas or something for when she comes over so I can at least show her that I know how to cook a bit :/ I have to go now because my guild needs me for a raid.

Well I didn't find any Jamaican girls online but I did meet an African girl named Aaliyah. She moved to Columbus about 4 months ago and doesn't know anyone. So far we are just talking and she has never heard of South Park which is a travesty lol. I will let you guys know how things get on with her.

Saturday afternoon I went and met that girl Sarah I had been chatting with for coffee at Cup O' Joe Coffee Dessert House. The place is really cool. We met at 2pm and she said to just show up and look for the girl with long brain hair and an apple notebook. When I got there I swear to god there was 3 girls there all with long brown hair and apple computers. I was high as hell and was like omg this is like a bad dream and I had totally regretted hitting the bong before I left the house. The funny thing was that I would have banged all three of them as all 3 girls were hot. She said she was only 21 years old so I just went over to the youngest looking girl and it turned out to be her thank god.

I ordered a caramel mocha and sipped it as we talked about life and shit. She said she was working to become a doctor and was going to university for that. I was like whoa... I play wow on my computer all night and watch south park etc... of course I didn't tell her that but I felt a bit out of my league and was thinking about the movie Good Will Hunting where he meets Minney Driver who is studying to become a doctor also. She said she likes hip hop and listens to 2Pac and Dr. Dre etc which is cool by me. You couldn't tell by looking at this girl that she was a fly girl inside cuz she dressed and looked very conservative. I was thinking I gotta take this shit slow and try and sound intellectual. I hope I didn't embarrass myself with some of the stuff I was saying.

She said she has had a few boyfriends here and there and that she was really popular in high school etc and the guys she was with were all jocks and football quarterback types etc. I was thinking damn I got no chance with this girl... so I changed my attitude and started thinking, I don't need this girl and I think it started to work. I also ended things and said I had to go hook up with my friends and play basketball outside. She was like ooo and was all impressed that I was active guy, but in reality when I said friends I really meant my WoW Guild and by basketball outside I really meant playing wow and smoking a bowl lol

Yeah that's right, I could use somebody like you... ya corny but I like Kings of Leon. Maybe I can find someone that will notice someone like me

Anyways just chilling here listening to music and thinking about the conversations I have been having with girls online since I joined the dating site and also I have been chatting with older people. Older people me stuff all the time and I really try and listen but lots of it sucks lol I am hoping they are all wrong and life really isn't like they say it is. Now I am playing the song "Laid" by James, I love this song, I wish I was born sooner than I was. I am not into this whole scene girl and scene guy thing or punk or pop. I like modern rock and stuff from the 90's like pearl jam, nirvana, radiohead, etc.

Ok now I am listening to Welcome to Jamrock by Damien Marley so as you can see I do have a varied taste in music. I spend a lot of time on the internet trying to learn stuff. Sometimes I get wrapped up for hours reading things and watching videos on youtube and no I'm not watching "jizz in my pants" and "everyday normal guy".

I have never been to Jamaica but I think I would like to go. I wonder what the girls are like there? I should see if I can find any Jamaican girls online through this dating site. I think I can search like that. Yellow by Coldplay is on now... the lead singer of this group is married to Gwyneth Paltrow, now there is the kind of girl I am hoping to meet online. I have met a couple of fair haired blond girls so far that kind of look like her but their personalities are not the same. Maybe because they are all young. I can't wait until I am much older so I can get with women. You know, you know I love so... you know I love so... maybe one day I can say that to a woman and have kids and stuff. I am starting to go off on a tangent here.

Friday night tonight. I am going to be getting together with this girl Sarah I met online tomorrow afternoon for coffee and tonight I am prolly just gonna stay inside and get high, play World of Warcraft and chat with girls online. No point in going out and spending money trying to pick up girls at clubs and stuff, it's much easier online, just not instantaneous.

OMG I am so tired today, but I guess that is what I get for staying up til 4am playing World of Warcraft. I keep getting messages from girls I have met online that are much older than me... I don't know how I could deal with a girl that is over 25 I mean I still live with my parents and I play wow lolz, unless I can meet a nerdy hot gamer chick. I know lots of guys in my position feel the same way and have the same fantasy of meeting some hot chick online who plays wow and likes south park.

I did see a hot gamer chick on justin.tv that would be ideal but she already has a boyfriend. I really need to get a job soon so when I finish writing this entry I am going to spend some time on craigslist looking for a job blah. I need money so I can not look like a total loser when I attempt to take chicks out. I don't have a car, but my dad lets me borrow his so it's all good.

I also just started to work out. I am like 6 feet tall and I weigh around 195.. I think i would like to weigh around 175. I really need to hit some clubs and dance... that is a good way to lose weight. I am not much of a dancer (big surprise) but I downloaded some dvd's that teach you how to dance. I think that the girls I have been chatting with are going to be better to take to a club than a restaurant. For the price of one meal, we can go to a club and have a few drinks etc and I can dance.

Most clubs have this thing where you can go online and print out these coupon thingies so you don't have to pay cover charge. There is a place called Axis Nightclub that does that. I guess I should also get to know the bouncers at these places so I can get in easier.

Right now I am chatting with about 5 different girls but I think only 2 of them would go out with me at this point. I mean I know they all think I am attractive but 3 of them are much older than me and it's kind of hard for me to deal with older women when i have no job, dad's car and I'm living in my parents basement. That is unless they just want sex and no relationship then that is fine

I do have a few hundred bucks in my bank account that I got from various relatives from my birthday 3 weeks ago so I can spend some of that money taking some girls to some clubs etc. So that is what I am working on now. Gonna keep chatting with these girls and convince some of them to go out with me. Well I gtg now will post more later.

Hi my name is Matt and I am a huge South Park fan. I know that is random but I felt it necessary to express it. I am 22 years old and my parents just recently moved to Columbus from Los Angeles. I don't know anyone here but my friend suggested that I join an online dating site so that I can meet some girls and make some new friends. I don't have a lot of experience dating women but I am ready to jump in with both feet

I wonder if I can meet a girl who likes South Park also that would be hella wicked. I have met a few guys here and they are all huge Blue Jackets fans... to be honest I am not even sure what sport that is... but I guess I should look it up. There isn't much to do here in Ohio so I am hoping that meeting some chicks online will spruce things up a bit and make my life more interesting.

I never finished school and I don't have a job lol and I live with my parents... but I am gonna get a job so I can afford to take these girls out for dinner etc and also I am hoping to get my own place here soon, although I don't mind living with my folks... well we are about to start a raid in WoW so I gots to go.