The Columbus Bachelor

Hi lol I'm back. I finally got a job. It is a shitty ass job and what sucks even harder is that I went to like 6 different places for jobs that all sucked and I got the suckiest of all 6 cuz I suck that hard I guess. I got a job as a dishwasher in a mediocre family restaurant. Where I work is called the dish pit. It is this huge like 12 foot by 12 foot tiles section surrounded by stainless steel shelves, and plastic buns, and a sink. It is up against the wall and the whole wall section is where the dishwasher is. It takes up the whole wall. All the waitresses come in and just dump the shit from people's tables into this plastic bins. I am talking about everything, as it was on the table gets dumped in there... half eaten or spit up food, half empty cups of coffee, you name it, it's there. It is my job to scrape the shit off the plates and then spray off the plate and then put the plate into this plastic tray thingy that goes through the actual dishwasher like it was on a conveyor belt. Once they get through the other end then they sit there in there plastic bin thing for a few minutes to air dry, then I have to remove them and stack all the crap on these other shelves. I mentioned there was a sink right? Well once an hour, the cooks will yell scrub and that means I have to go over and collect this stainless steel bin full of used greasy skillets. They are like these oval shaped cast iron plates that they use to saute shit instead of using the same frying pan over and over. Of course there is also like 15 pairs of metal tongs in there too. So I have to go grab these bin and bring it back to the pit and then fill one basin with boiling hot water and soap and then submerge them in there. Then I have to go back to them like 15 mins later and scrub them and rinse them and then stack them and then bring them back to the cooks. The whole time this is going on, the waitresses are basically dumping massive trays endlessly into the bins. So the pace you have to operate in order to not get backed up is ridiculous. Of course its not too bad during non peak times but my shift is from 4-midnight so it gets busy from 5:30-9pm. The worst part is the spray gun and the food. There is like a hose that comes from above your head and on the end is this heavy duty spray nozzle with a long trigger. When you grab this thing and spray the plate of shitty food etc the water and food sprays everywhere. The bits of food collect in this nasty collector you constantly have to empty into a garbage can. Yeah there is 3 garbage cans with massive black bags in them too. I have to change the bags once and hour and then take them out to the dumpster behind the building. So because you have to move fast, you sweat, because there is hot steam everywhere, you sweat, because the sprayer sprays mists of food everywhere, you are covered in wet sloppy greasy sludge on top of all of this. It is definitely the worst job I have ever had. I just put on my iPod and zone out to the music and pretend I am somewhere else. I think having the sound of splashing water and the clanking of the pots and pans completely drowned out helps to make the time go by faster and make things seem less gross. Some of the waitresses are in their twenties and are hot bust most of them are old and nasty. The only good thing about working there is the free food that we get. We get a free entree of anything we want from the menu on each shift

While I am working, I think of creative things I can on dates to impress girls etc. So far I haven't come up with much because I am working with such a limited budget. I think I need to approach things differently and instead of taking girls on traditional dates that are expensive, do something like take them swimming or take them to the beach and just bring something cheap with me to eat and drink. Of course it's December and it's freezing as hell here in Ohio so you see where I am coming from. Maybe some of you could leave some comments and give me some ideas. I don't have a lot of experience with these things ya know.

No progress with the African girl and Shelly never ended up coming over after all because she said she had a sore throat and then she found out she had strep throat and that sucked. So we have been talking a lot on the phone instead. She told me that she had to get 3 injections of penicillin 1 per day for 3 days and that it hurt and she had to take it in the butt. Ok that sounded funny, what I meant was that she had to get the injection in her butt instead of in the arm cuz that is how you got to take those shots. I was watching MTV today and there was this awesome new hardcore punk band called "Clowns with Pots" and their shit was off the hook yo! Some of the most clever music I have head in a while. There is a spikey haired tall guy on drums, another white guy on guitar, and an asian girl on vocals. They kick butt and they roll around in this pimped out CJ Jeep in the video. They ride around and do stuff... it's great. The song I heard was called "Don't call me buddy" and it was slammin yo. Anyways back to the girlz yo. What is up with the girls that are my age.... they are so flaky, ok well I guess guys my age are flaky too but c'mon yo. what gives? I dunno about Shelly, she seems to good to be true. I dunno how long it will last with a girl that is so similar to me. I guess I have to wait until I meet her in person and see if there is any chemistry there.

I met a few older women this week online. There is lots of older women online who wanna hook up with younger guys. I was quite surprised by this fact but then again I see the way my mom's friends look at me like they wanna eat me like a tossed fucking salad... oh! That was an Andrew Dice Clay reference in case you missed it bizznatches. Anyhoo wtf is up with this weather yo? This shit is bananas!

All these older broads think they are all smart and shit just cuz they got jobs and live in houses... pfft. I would pown them in WoW. Girls suck at video games because they have vaginas. Men are used to handling joysticks... it comes naturally... ok that sounded gay. I feel I might be getting slightly offtopic.

One girl I met is named Cheryl and she works at a department store in the fragrance department. It's like dude? wtf? You mean one of those prim and proper womanly woman looking women with the tight slacks on and all the makeup! Yes dog! One of those girls. They look like a big doll. And she is tall too... tall women are hot. You know what else I think is hot? Female singers... like Esthero, Dolores O'Riordon from the Cranberries, Alicia Keys. I wish I could meet a girl who was a lounge singer. I think that shit is hot as a reindeer's antlers.

I also met a broad named Julia who is a homemaker? LOL........ I had to lie to that chick cuz well I live with my parents so yeah, can't exactly be honest with her unless she just wants to get banged... I have no idea with these older women they are an enigma. Anyways she has 2 kids which is kinda weird but I would still throw it in her based on her picture. Shit she could give me a blowjob then make me a sandwich and all in the world would be ok.

I've been drinking some red wine tonight and smoking some ganj so bear with me k thanks. Who else did I meet? Well I met this girl named Sonja who is from the middle east or something. I told myself last week that I wanted to bang some exotic pussy and she is my target. I'm bored... I gtg

I have still been chatting with that African girl Aaliyah but so far the progress is slow. She isn't ready to meet me yet, she is very cautious about the whole online dating thing and she has never met someone in real life yet that she has met on the internet. Hopefully I will be her first

I met this girl named Shelly who knows about World of Warcraft and said she had played it at some friend's place a few times and thought it was kind of cool. Not only have we chatted online and on msn but yesterday I called her on the phone and we chatted for an hour or so. She has a really sexy soft voice and it was fun to talk to her. She is only 22 and she lives with her parents also while she goes to school so I like phew I can tell her that I live with my parents too without her thinking I am a loser cuz she lives with hers too.

We have been chatting about movies and I told her my favorite movies are Quienten Tarantino movies and my favorite specifically was Pulp Fiction. Man I just love that movie so much. Say What Again! Anyways, she is really fun to talk to and I told her we should get together and watch Inglorious Basterds at my place. She said she would come over on Thursday after school and we could watch it then. I have yet to bring a chick over to my house yet so I hope my parents are cool and don't act all gay and shit and embarrass me cuz that would not be cool at all. I am going to try and make some quesadillas or something for when she comes over so I can at least show her that I know how to cook a bit :/ I have to go now because my guild needs me for a raid.